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Watch out for the Laxhole Moms...

The winner of the "Laxhole of the Week" award came from a very vocal tournament in the Mid-Atlantic. This Laxhole Mom traveled across country to watch her son play a solid game against a very good team. Junior had scored several goals (his opponents might say due to warding) and played solid. The game itself was a slugfest, and in the last minutes, his team had a chance to tie things up. Junior carried the ball downfield, but the defense stormed him and with no help at all, he gave up the ball. The other team ran out the clock. Right before the whistle, Junior's Mom yelled for all to hear, "Junior! You just lost the game for us!" The shocking comment is crystal clear on the game film, as well as the hurt look on his face.


This reminds me of another tournament from a while ago in Pennsylvania. Our team was in overtime against another local rival and while down by a goal, with the final moments ticking down, our goalie heaved the ball up for a Hail Mary to one of the middies. The Middie jumped up for the high throw, but a long pole beat him to the ball and ended the game. The kid was clearly dejected, and his Mom called out loudly in front of now four teams standing there, "It's okay Honey, you couldn't have gotten that ball!" To which, the Kid turns to his mom and screams "F*CK You, Mom!" while flipping her and the rest of us out. We were all horrified, and there were snickers from the other teams' parents who said "What do you expect from kids that come from (ThatTown)?!"


That wasn't the worst of it though. After the game, several of the parents approached the Middie to explain that what he did was unacceptable, and even the Coach took it as a moment to speak about how poorly it reflected on the Team and the Player. Several of the other players called out the Middie and confronted him directly, to the point that he didn't play in the next game. Handled? A teaching moment with a lesson learned? Nope.


The next morning, while waiting for the next game, the Mom approached a group of parents to complain about how the kids were so nasty to her child, how dare they chastise him for his behavior, and how she wanted the other players and even the coach to apologize. Her son was angry and embarrassed and didn't know if he wanted to play the next games. Completely and totally missing the point.


Whether its yelling at refs, screaming at kids, or letting kids get away with atrocious behavior, I think it's safe to say that the Dads aren't the only ones being Laxholes these days. We all live vicariously through our children to a point. We helicopter or tiger parent, and Moms as well as Dads know their kids stats, where they are on the depth chart, how much play time their superstar deserves, and how this 4th grade B-level lacrosse game may influence whether they son or daughter gets into a good college.

And while there are some Laxhole Dads shaking their kids, even hitting them occasionally when they don't perform as expected, I can only imagine the psychological affect of hearing your Laxhole Mom scream that you just lost "us" the game must be. Last I checked, the parents don't get a tee shirt or trophy when the kids win. Guess it was a long plane ride home for all the losers that day.


As for the middie who flipped off his Mom (and us), ran into him the other day after not seeing him for years, and seems to have turned out as expected -- a Lax Bro.




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