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Laxhole Coach Stories

Are there really Laxhole Coaches in lacrosse? Or are these fine gentlemen and ladies doing this for the good of the kids and their passion for the game?

I think the stories speak for themselves.

A nationally infamous coach, who some would say is the Prototype Laxhole Coach, was coaching a high school game years ago. He is what I like to call a "Joystick Coach"---ordering the team with constant play calling, giving instant feedback to players, and screaming at refs to lobby for calls to go his way. In the high school game, the latest argument with the ref was going against him, and after a screaming argument, the Passionate Coach gets thrown out of the game. Surely he packed up his whistle and clipboard and made his way to the parking lot?

Not a chance---the Passionate Coach proceeded to climb a tree just outside the fence and continued to scream directions to the team, and hurl a few more insults at the refs. The refs stopped the game again and threatened forfeit if the coach didn't leave the area. Eventually Passionate Coach left, but the story became another example of his "passion" to be discussed by local parents, refs, and coaches alike. It hasn't gotten much calmer since.

We have witnessed several similar screaming fits over the past few years from other coaches and assistants. In some cases, it ends in forfeit, or at least the coach being thrown out for that game, and often the tournament. The reactions on the sidelines are mixed. Some parents and kids are embarrassed, but many cheer this on.

Another coach, who became legendary for making his 5th grade defenders do push-ups on the field during a game time out, was thrown out multiple times in a season. I saw the pushup episode personally walking by the game and was embarrassed for the team and parents. Talking the parents later, they admitted that the coach was much better one-on-one, and should probably be coaching older kids.

At a one-day tournament, we watched several young coaches repeatedly drop the F-bomb at refs during a 4th grade B-game, leading to the game being called a quarter early. To their defense, the coaches had recently played in the MLL and weren't used to standard refereeing. I don't believe they coached much after that. Unfortunately, the ride home was all "Did you hear what our cool Laxhole coach called that Blind Ref?" The kids thought it was awesome which was the biggest problem.

My favorite from recent years was the Hot Head coach who threatened to fight another coach during a game, and had to be held back by the players and parents. This was in front of the sidelines for both teams. On one hand, it was the last game of the tournament. On the other hand, the other coach was the tournament organizer and made sure that the team didn't return. As a last laugh, the Hothead Coach refused to pay his tournament fees, and left the organization he was with to "build a program of where he could be a role model and ambassador for the sport." Heard later that the non-payment of tournament fees was a pattern and that he had run through several clubs doing the same.

There are many stories of on-field Laxhole behavior, and I know that I will remember more in the coming months. Feel free to share yours in the forum.

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