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I am a struggling Laxh*le....


You know us -- screaming at the refs, arguing with other parents, coaching our kids on the field, having conflicts with coaches. We are red-faced, abusive, loud-mouths who can't possibly leave it alone. We push our kids and frequently embarrass them very much in public. I have come to call us Laxholes -- mostly dads and stepdads, but quite a lot of moms too. I am one of them, trying to reform (and sometimes failing).


You can picture it---one Laxhole Mom from NJ screaming during a tournament "Get that f#@$ing groundball, Rocco!" as another roided-out, much too-tan father is knee-sliding and doing the Superman shirt-opening gag after his 10-year old kid scores a goal. The poor referee is being hectored by Long Island Dads about "warding", and the Laxhole Coach for one of the teams is making his defenders do pushups during the game after the other teams scored. A Baltimore dad is complaining about birth years too loudly about a gigantic Philly child clearly several years older than the other "2nd graders". This leads to Baby Huey's dad to threaten to kick his "Baltimore @ss", and has to be held back (like his son). It is entertaining on one level and frightening to see how low we can go.


Listening to a couple of parents compare hockey, soccer, and lacrosse parents, the general consensus seems to be that lacrosse parents are the most out of control. Not sure what it is---the remotely located fields, the lack of plexiglass barriers, or the missing Silent Sideline rules that other sports have. My guess is that contact sports like lacrosse have an alpha, Cobra Kai sweep-the-leg streak that is hard to bottle up. Tailgating contributes.


I personally have been out of control for a lot of my kids lacrosse careers---yelling at refs and kids, mixing it up with other laxhole parents to the point of almost scrapping on the sidelines, and probably affecting my kids team prospects with coaches.


I would love to hear how other Laxholes are dealing with their condition, and hear about the most severe specimens. It is not a choice for many, and certainly has been covered for other sports parent communities for football, baseball, even ice skating.


This is my journey, and I plan to document how some sports parenting experts, coaches, and players can help us control our worst impulses and make the game better for everyone. Or, at least celebrate the flaming laxhole in all its glory.




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